Thursday, September 06, 2012

Randomness

*School has begun here in the soggy, semi-far north. Actually, it started on Aug. 23. It's nice to get back into routine, but I keep waiting for the phone to ring to be called in to sub. I have been subbing, but it's pre-arranged for the most part. Always a chance of a surprise at 7AM.

*Waiting on the cover for Caught in Amber, my science fiction romance coming out from Carina Press in January. Got the copy blurb, which is fantastic. Still, seeing a cover for the first time is a particular thrill. Can't wait. And yes, I will share once I get the okey-dokey from TPTB.

*The third book, Deep Deception, will be out in May. Woo hoo! Just finished the art fact sheet on that one. Another cover to giddily await.

*Meanwhile, I'm working on two other books. One is about shape shifters in Alaska. The other is a paranormal western, sort of, about two female demon hunters. Love them both, but struggles with plot and pacing on one are making me a tad twitchy. Hopefully my lovely crit partners/beta readers will see where I'm going astray.

*After a harsh winter, we were hoping for a nice summer but no. I can count on one and a half hands how many actually sunny days we had. Not all were rainy, but there was lot of cool, gray weather. *sigh* Here's hoping for a better winter this time.

*I'll have a few friends with books doing promo stuff here in the months to come. Can't wait to share!

*I want a cookie (Hey, the title of the post is random. I wasn't kidding ; )

*We have to REALLY start thinking about colleges and college prep for DD1. So much more competition out there for spots in schools and for financial aid.

*Any randomness you'd like to add?

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The F in the Middle

I discovered something about myself on a recent vacation: I would not do well in a menage unless certain criteria were met. No, it wasn't *that* exciting a trip.

Normally when I fly, I take the aisle seat. Not only do I not have to bother people if I have to get up (and I don't mind getting up for my rowmates), but I can stick my foot into the aisle for a smidge more leg room. Well, until the service cart comes by.

Sitting in the middle between strangers--who frown upon my leaning against them should I snooze, which I rarely do--makes me tense. Sitting by the window is marginally better, but I feel trapped.

How does this relate to menage? During the implied activities I think I'd be fine no matter where I was. Too busy to care, shall we say. But afterward, when everyone settled to sleep (I'm assuming sleep goes with the menage thing) I'd need to be on the end. I can't stand being trapped under the blankets or between bodies.

No, I haven't had this experience with adults, but I have had a child crawl into bed with me and my husband. I had to scramble out of the middle to the freedom of the edge or to the couch. The idea of being sandwiched between two adults makes me twitchy. Even when it's just me and my husband I need to be able to kick the blankets off or stick a foot out from under the covers.

I don't think I'm claustrophobic. Other small placed don't bother me. Though I'm not keen on sleeping bags that are too close-fitting. Forget a mummy bag.

Should I ever get inspired for a more adventurous romantic liason, there will be a post-coital condition. I sleep on the end. If I'm with two men, I hope they like each other because a MFM will become a MMF. If it's another woman, I can only hope she isn't like me.

Either that or someone's on the couch for the night.

How about you?

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Saturday, April 07, 2012

For My Sisters

I just returned from a ten day trip to New York and Philadelphia. The main purpose of the trip was to attend my best friend's wedding in Philly, but, being from the New York area (Long Island, more accurately) I spent some time visiting my family.

Now, there's a reason why I live in Alaska and my family is back in New York. Don't get me wrong, I love them with all my heart, but there's also a lot of drama I'm not sorry to be missing. I'm also happier raising my kids in a less intense location, and that has nothing to do with my relatives.

While in NY, I stayed in my mother's place. She bought a house with my sister and brother-in-law a couple of years ago, so I got to see them a lot too. Which is great. I also saw my brothers and their families, which is also great. Mom and Sis had the week off, so we went out shopping, did lunch, got my hair done for the wedding, all sorts of fun things. I know it was a special time, not the day-to-day stuff we all go through. Spirits were high and the love was flowing. But it made me realize how much I miss having them around. My mother and sister share things I will never be part of as long as I live where I am.

"Let's get lunch!"

"Hey, can you watch the dogs/cats while I'm gone for the day?"

"How about roast beef for Sunday dinner rather than ham?"

Despite the frustrations of living near family, I miss them terribly. My kids don't have the opportunity to get to know their grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins like I did. Yes, I chose to move to Alaska, but that doesn't mean it's not without its shortcomings. Distance from family, mine and my husband's, is one of those shortcomings we've learned to deal with.

I particularly miss my sister. We weren't close as kids, running with two very different crowds, but now that we're adults we have a lot more in common. I want to share more daily things with her. I want to go shopping, ask her opinion on my hair and clothes (OK, maybe not). I want our families to get together for holidays, summer barbeques and Sunday football. I want my sister more than once a year, maybe, or as a voice across the continent.

But alas...

Sis, brother-in-law, and mom drove me to Philly, so our good-bye was not the teary-eyed airport event it could have been. Sad, yes, but we held together.

But I realized something over the next few days of wedding preparation with my friend: I was in the same situation with her as I am with my blood sister.

Sharron and I met in college in Fairbanks and became fast friends. For the last twenty-five years, we've managed to see each other almost yearly, talk on the phone just about weekly, and share parts of our lives like sisters. I cried with her when relationships went to hell and rejoiced when love was found. It was an honor to be in her wedding, as I was in my sister's.

Hanging out with my friend was similar to being in NY, not typical day-to-day stuff, but I still wanted to share that with her. I want to catch a movie or do lunch. I want to have her and her new husband over for dinner or for game night. I want my sister-from-another-mother.

Another friend was in for the wedding as well, and the three of us spent a day running around shopping, laughing, and making each others' sides ache. Again, not the daily angst of work and family, but I could see us helping each other through tough times and rejoicing in the good times.

Some of my sisters I only know through email or Twitter or Facebook. Some I may have met only once or twice. But it's there, that spark of recognition that we understand each other, that we can depend on one another to lend an ear, a shoulder, a hand.

Sisters share a special bond. These women are my sisters as much as my blood sister. I want them in my life. I want them with me through all the highs and lows. The distance makes it difficult, but the love makes it bearable.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Things Are Happening

Hoping there will be some news soon, but nothing I can discuss at the moment. I know, I know. I hate the tease thing too. What can I tell you? I's have to be dotted and T's crossed in this biz before official spouting is allowed.

Spring isn't *quite* in the air here in Alaska. We have tons of snow on the ground and March is typically our snowiest month (god help us!). I'm hoping for a reprieve. It may melt off by June, but I'm not holding my breath. Though perhaps I should, because when it does melt it will be floody and muddy!

In the meantime, I have stories to write, family to visit, and friends whose marriage I will attend/participate.

What are your spring plans?

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Saturday, February 04, 2012

#Rom4All--End ALL Discrimination in Romance

Recently, it was brought to the attention of the Rainbow Romance Writers chapter of the RWA that another chapter's published works contest (scroll down to Rules, under #1) would no longer be accepting same-sex romances for any of their categories.

So, like several of my RRW co-members, I wrote to the contest coordinator. This is what I said: "I've noticed that your More Than Magic contest for published authors no longer accepts entries that have same-sex relations. The contest accepted such stories in the past and, from what I understand, they did well. Could you please tell me what changed? Thank you very much for your time."

Here is the reply I received: "It was a difficult decision, but after a month-long discussion, it was voted by the chapter to no longer accept same-sex. The majority of our members were just uncomfortable with it."

That's it. That was the whole of the response.

They were uncomfortable. Fine. I can understand being uncomfortable with certain aspects of stories. Everyone has their own tastes. Simple solution: Find judges outside of your chapter who ARE comfortable--nay! HAPPY--to read same-sex romances. There's a whole chapter of us willing to do so.

But to outright deny entry based on orientation of the characters? Replace "same-sex" with "people of color" or "people of different abilities" or "people of different beliefs" and tell me you don't feel the ick factor here.

RRW chapter president Heidi Cullinan wrote to the RWA National organization and asked about the discriminatory language. The RWA was extremely supportive in getting the Rainbow Romance Writers chapter off the ground; we know they aren't opposed to LGBT romance. RWA's response, however, was less than encouraging. Basically, the RWA is saying it can't tell its affiliated chapters how to run their contests. If they want to exclude a category, then it's their right to do so.

But LGBTQ is NOT a romance category. Paranormal, Suspense, Historical, Inspirational, Erotica. THOSE are categories. Categories indicate a certain plot and storyline. Categories have NOTHING to do with who the characters love.

If a judge, like any reader, is uncomfortable with reading paranormal, it is up to the coordinator to find a judge who will do so. No one freaks out. No one gets upset. Everyone is happy. Why is that so difficult to do and understand in this day and age?

There are other folks who have addressed the issue much more eloquently than I, and I encourage you to read the blogs, get the facts, and make your opinion heard. Write to RWA (the addy is info@rwa.org ); leave comments on blogs; make a <140 character Twitter statement using the #Rom4All hashtag, and include #RWA and/or #LGBT.

Thank you!

Blogs supporting anti-discrimination and #Rom4All:

http://heidicullinan.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/rwa-shouldnt-be-in-the-business-of-discrimination/


www.karigregg.com/?p=1226


http://www.courtneymilan.com/ramblings/2012/02/04/dont-enter-more-than-magic/

http://kbgbabbles.blogspot.com/2012/02/wtfckery-factor-romance-writers-of.html

http://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_posts/2045978-same-sex-pairing-is-not-romance-since-when

http://annetenino.com/2012/02/04/personal-taste-public-responsibilities-discrimination-rom4all-lgbt-rwa/


http://jswayne.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/an-open-letter-to-rwa/


http://stephanihechtauthor.blogspot.com/2012/02/uncomfortable-discrimination.html?zx=cf4f15550ff0b8b9

http://amydenim.blogspot.com/2012/02/hey-rwa-discrimination-censorship-are.html

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/blog/romance-writers-ink-contest-an-exercise-in-discrimination

http://stacia-seaman.livejournal.com/160347.html


http://museampoule.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/letter-to-rwi-contest-about-their-discrimination/

http://www.fictionwithfriction.com/2012/02/04/less-than-magic/

http://heidicullinan.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/bigotry-is-a-transitive-noun/


http://stacia-seaman.livejournal.com/160732.html?view=302556#t302556

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Friday, November 11, 2011

From the TMI Department

Hello Blogger Buddies!

Things may be a little scarce on the blog for a while. Well, even scarcer : P I have a few items to attend to, including a new gig as the columnist/facilitator of the schools page of our local paper. I tell you, only in a small town do you get called up for a job like this : ) It should be a fun time.

On a more personal front, I had gallbladder surgery and am in recovery mode. Things went well, and I'm feeling good. Looking forward to eating without feeling sick, that's for sure. But I'm moving a bit slow for the moment. On the plus side, no snow shoveling for 4-6 weeks! Sorry, kids!

So how are you all?

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Monday, October 24, 2011

How Galling

NOTE: This post may be TMI for some. I will not be offended if you skip it : )

For the past few years, I have had issues with my gallbladder. Being in the 3F Club (female, fertile and forty), along with family history, it wasn't a surprise when things went awry. The problem was having it get bad enough to merit action.

With a recent increase in the discomfort and pain associated with eating *anything*, it was time to go to the doctor. I spent a week in the Big City hoping, believe it or not, to have surgery. Yep, I wanted it, but my darn body would not cooperate. An ultrasound revealed no gallstones, which would have been a slam dunk for surgery. A nuclear medicine procedure showed abnormal function of my gallbladder (not a shock, considering what I've been feeling for a few years) but I needed one more test before it could be okayed for removal. An upper GI endoscopy showed everything else was normal, so it was finally decided the gallbladder was, indeed, the culprit and had to go.

Can we say frustrated? I know the doctors needed to cover their bases, that the insurance company would want absolute proof this was my problem. But still. Going all that way and hoping for relief only to have to come home intact and needing to figure out when my husband's travel schedule and my doctor's surgical schedule would mesh is a pain. Not to mention the cost and inconvenience of more travel and juggling home life. Ugh.

This is the price paid for living in semi-rural Alaska, away from large cities and snarly traffic. The price for phenomenal scenery, wildlife right outside your front door (yes, literally), and living in a town where you don't worry about your kids wandering neighborhoods.

Worth it? While I sit and wait and get frustrated about rearranging my life, not so much. But in the grand scheme of things, I'd rather be inconvenienced for a week or two or three than have to live under more "civilized" conditions.

And in case you were curious, my upper GI is a thing of beauty. I'm considering using the images on the report as my holiday card. Okay, maybe not.

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Sunday, October 09, 2011

This, That, and an Excerpt from Rulebreaker


I love getting feedback. Between the blog and Twitter, I've received great responses to what to blog about next. The bread stealing bear drew the most interest, so I'll tell you about him (or her, I don't know. I didn't get *that* close). After a conversation with my mother about holidays, I have more blog fodder. And finally, an excerpt from Rulebreaker.

BREAD BEAR
My husband did our quarterly Big Shopping while in Anchorage the other week. He fills the pickup with groceries to stock our pantry, freezer and refrigerator so we don't have to buy a whole lot locally (love the local guys, but it's pricey here). This time, he went a little overboard and we didn't have room for some things in the house or in the outdoor freezer. Some loaves of bread and bagels were left in a cooler near our front porch.

Well, our new "neighbor" caught wind of this. The other morning, about 8 am, we heard a thumping near the front door. Husband turned on the porch light (it's still kinda of dark at 8 am) a caught a glimpse of a young bear running off with a grocery bag of bread products. "Darn," said husband. "I wanted French Toast."

Ah well, such is life. We'd secured our garbage, but had no safe place to put the bread. No big loss. But then, unbeknownst to me at the time, Husband put a frozen gallon of milk in the same cooler. And left it outside to thaw slowly. That night, about 11 pm (definitely dark out) there was more thumping. Husband was asleep. I got up, went to the door and turned on the porch light. Lo and behold, the cooler was knocked over, a gallon of milk was bleeding out on my front walk, and I got to see a furry bear butt scuttle off into the night.

Damn it! Milk is expensive. Broom in hand, in case he returned, I grabbed the milk to let it finish thawing in the sink. There was no saving it, considering the sizable bite mark, but I didn't want it out there encouraging a return visit either.

So, lesson learned. Hopefully Husband will remember this incident next time he gets his shopping groove on.

Oh, here's an earlier post about our previous neighbor: Bear With Me


MOM'S FAVORITE HOLIDAY

I speak with my mom every couple of weeks or so. She lives back East, where I grew up, and takes the train into NYC from her Long Island home for work. Yesterday's conversation led to a discussion of her favorite holiday. She told me she didn't have to go to work today (October 10) because it was Columbus Day and everything was shut down.

"I love this holiday," she said. "There's no pressure, no reason to make a big meal or organize meeting with the family. You don't have to go to church or feel particularly patriotic. It's perfect."

Happy Columbus Day, Mom.

And to all my Canadian friends, Happy Thanksgiving!




FROM : CHAPTER ONE

One of the three masked men raised his rifle and shot a short burst of energy pulses into the ceiling of the First Colonial Bank of Nevarro. Fft-fft-fft-fft-fft. Plaster hit the wood floor in a staccato patter louder than the shots themselves. Ozone, dust and cries of alarm filled the air.

The shooter swung the muzzle toward me. “I said, heads down, lady.”

Gut tight, I complied, imitating the others who had been caught inside the bank when the black-clad men had entered just before closing time. It wasn’t often that I stared into the dark, deadly hole of a weapon. I don’t recommend it as a regular activity.

“Everyone stay down and stay quiet,” he ordered. “We’ll be outta here in two minutes, and y’all can go home alive.”

One of the men in black escorted the teller and the manager to the back of the bank where the vault was. The guard, an elderly couple, my partner Calvin and I lay on our bellies, hands on the backs of our heads and cheeks to the rough wood. The elderly couple had come in to check on their savings.

Cal and I had come in to rob the place ourselves.

Despite the pulse pistol nestled under my clothes against the small of my back, and Cal’s gun tucked in a holster covered by his right pant leg, neither of us was inclined to play hero.

Cal turned his head away from the shooter to glare at me. “Only you, Liv,” he whispered fiercely, “would pick the exact same day to rob a bank as real criminals.”

Real criminals? I opened my mouth to loudly voice my indignation but snapped it shut. I’d already drawn enough attention to myself. Instead, I returned his harsh whisper. “We are real criminals. This is just poor timing.”

Cal and I had been planning this job for a while. The Exeter Mining Company deposited its employees’ pay during an undisclosed period each month to avoid such actions as, say, robbery. But Cal had finagled the schedule and amounts from a friend. Seventy-five thousand in cold, hard cash had been delivered to this bank in Milchner the day before. Many small-op contract miners preferred hard money to electronic transfer—fewer slipped digits and short changings to worry about.

We chose this branch because it was the most remote, the least secure and had the fewest personnel. Despite its lower take than a branch in one of the larger cities, like Pembroke, it was the perfect hit.

Apparently the competition thought so too.

“We should have done this sooner,” Cal grumbled.

“It’s not my fault my car died,” I said.

This had not been one of my luckier days, or months, or years for that matter. The job was supposed to go down last month, but fast transportation was a must. Cal only had access to a slower model Airvan. A week before the original hit date, the lifters on my somewhat newer, sleeker and more sensitive light air car went offline. Part of this take was earmarked to pay that bill. Damn the void.

And while PubTrans was an efficient mode for us working-class folks of Pembroke City, it was not the ideal getaway system. Besides, PubTrans didn’t run to way-the-hell-out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere towns like Milchner.

Before Cal could remind me we’d had ample opportunity in prior months, the black barrel of the second gunman’s rifle tapped down on his temple. Cal’s eyes widened. The breath caught in my chest.

My gaze traveled along the length of the rifle, hesitated where a gloved finger rested on the trigger, then up to the man’s face. I assumed it was a man; he looked tall and broad from my view from the floor.

Like the other two thieves, this one wore dark glasses and a garish cloth to mask his features. The hood of his black jacket covered his head. There would be no facial recognition program to help catch these guys even if this bank had decent video, which it didn’t. Yet another reason Cal and I had targeted it.

Black lenses reflected twin images of my prone body. The man raised his index finger and placed it against his mouth. Quiet.

I nodded, getting a splinter from the floor jabbed into my cheek for my troubles. The gunman moved away.

My stomach did a flip. I closed my eyes, trying not to puke as bile bit at the back of my throat. So this was what it felt like to be utterly helpless, to have complete strangers decide if you lived or died. The fear. The uncertainty. The praying they would just do their thing and go away without hurting anyone.

Somewhere behind me, the old lady began to sob quietly. Her husband made soft shushing noises, his voice shaky. I hoped the gunmen wouldn’t notice.

Forget about them, Liv, my brain ordered. You’ve got your own ass to keep alive. Right. Felon’s Rule Number One: Don’t get emotionally involved. I forced professional curiosity to replace victimization—the old couple’s and my own. I opened my eyes and took in as much of the scene as I could without lifting my head. Shooter at the door. Second gunman? Out of my line of sight for the moment.

What was the third man doing with the manager and teller? You only needed one or the other to open the vault. The money sat right there in its happy little lockboxes, which also required only one key. Why risk having to deal with two employees? These guys had a different technique than from mine and Cal’s, but now was not the time to open a discussion.

“Liv,” Cal whispered through unmoving lips. His dark eyes watched something behind me.

The soft scrape of a boot. The gunman had returned. I didn’t dare turn toward him. Cool, ion-hardened ceramic touched the back of my hands. I swallowed hard, eyes fixed on Cal.

The gunman didn’t speak. His palm skimmed the length of my leather jacket from shoulder to just above my buttocks. He pressed down, jabbing my pistol into my spine, then moved the tails of the jacket and shirt aside, exposing the waist of my trousers. And the gun. Like he knew it would be there.

My gut quivered. Shit! If he took me for a lawman, I was dead.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” he whispered close to my ear. He eased the gun out, resting it on the bared skin of my back. His gloved fingers slid under my trousers. My muscles stiffened when he tickled my tailbone just below the waistband of my bikini panties. “Got anything else there?”

His hand trailed back up to my gun, and its weight disappeared. The barrel of his rifle nudged the back of my hands. “You’re quite lucky today, amante. Quite lucky.”

Amante. Lover.

Only one person used that word with me, and he’d lost the privilege three years ago.

Tonio Calderon.

Over the indignation and disbelief buzzing in my head, activity from near the vault told me the job was done.

The bastard leaned closer. His breath warmed my ear. “Gotta go, darlin’.”
He dragged a finger up my spine then was gone.

My body shivered in memory of his touch while my mind screamed. No! No no no, double damn the void, NO! This went beyond poor timing.

My ex-husband had just felt me up, taken my gun and spoiled my hit.

* * *

“Here’s your water, Miss Braxton.” Sheriff Nathan Sterling set the heavy glass tumbler in front of me and resumed his seat on the other side of the table. He wasn’t particularly tall, only a dozen centis over my 167. But his dark uniform with its shiny badge, his broad shoulders and erect posture made him seem bigger.

“Thank you,” I said and took a sip of tepid water.

We sat in the windowless, overheated interview room of the Milchner sheriff’s station. Like most of Milchner—and Nevarro, for that matter—the room and the station had seen better days. Peeling paint and rickety furniture proclaimed the sheriff department’s lack of budget.

Sterling shuffled through a few sheets of synth paper on the table. Paper. I swallowed a chuckle with another sip. No handhelds in sight, and the bulky System Interface terminals in the main office were about a decade behind the rest of civilization. How did they chase down criminals? With a posse on horseback? Just as long as they didn’t go in for lynching, I’d be fine.

A thin scar running across his forehead blended with frown lines as he read my statement. “You went into the bank to withdraw some cash.” His blue eyes met mine. “Your ID says you’re from Pembroke. What’s your business in our little burg?”

Cal and I had worked out details well beforehand. “My friend and I were taking a weekend trip. We needed a room.”

That was a lie, but the fleabag hotel we’d scoped out only took hard money, not credit vouchers or weepy promises. Though the guy behind the desk was scary enough that he probably would’ve taken a kidney or small child as payment. The trade in both was rampant on some worlds.

Sterling quirked a dark blond brow at me. “You were gonna stay at the Milchner Arms?”

I gave him a weary smile. “It’s the only hotel in town. We’re tired and poor.”

This part was true, hence our plan to rob the bank.

He held my gaze for a moment. As he stared, his right eye drifted, shifting its focus to the wall. Artificial organ. And a cheap one at that, if it couldn’t hold position. If the Milchner constabulary couldn’t afford decent furniture, why was I surprised its sheriff received second-rate eye replacement?

The sheriff rubbed the corner of his eye, setting it back into place before nodding. “All right. Tell me what happened.”

Despite the fact he had my full statement right in front of his baby blues—at least the colors matched—the lawman wanted to see if there were any discrepancies in my story. To see if I’d left out any details of the robbery, which I hadn’t. Or was lying about anything, which I was, but he’d never know it. Lawmen were suspicious types; “trust no one” was their mantra. I could relate.

I cleared my throat. “Cal and I had come in to get some cash. It was getting late, and the bank was about to close.” Classic time for a hit. The robbers knew it. Sterling probably knew it. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to admit I knew it. “Before we got up to the teller’s cage, these three guys in black burst in, hit the guard and pointed guns at us. They told us to lay on the floor, and we did.”

My hands clenched on the table. Sterling probably thought it was a reaction to the frightening situation I’d been through. Actually it was from being torqued that our plans had been thwarted. Again. The idea of switching careers had crossed my mind more than once since this afternoon.

“What about the teller and the manager?” he asked.

“One of the men yelled to them to come out from behind the cage. I guess they did. I couldn’t see them, but I heard movement when the gunman told them to hurry up.”

The reason the robbers needed both people still niggled at the back of my brain.

He tapped on the table and rested his other hand against his face, two fingers pressed against the corner of his right eye. “One of the other witnesses says you were approached by a gunman. Want to tell me about that?”

I shifted on the wooden chair. “It’s in my statement.” Mostly.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear it out loud, Miss Braxton.”

Like the distraught victim I was supposed to be, I dropped my gaze to my hands encircling the tumbler and waited for him to prompt me again. I didn’t have to wait long.

“I realize this is difficult for you,” he said in the lawman tone of sympathetic interrogation, “but we need your help if we’re gonna catch these guys.”

That brought my eyes up to his. “Do you think you will?”

I hoped I sounded more like a justice-seeking victim than a vengeful ex. But oh, to have Tonio and his new little gang tossed into a Colonial Correctional Mine for a dozen or so years would make my year. Teach the bastards for messing up my hit.

“I can’t make any guarantees, but every little bit helps.” Sterling’s earnest desire to see the bad guys put away was admirable. He actually seemed competent, an unusual trait in backwater lawmen. Though I’d rather have been the one to make the hit, I was glad it wasn’t me he sought.

“All right.” I took another sip of water. “We were all lying on the floor. I said something to Cal about how scared I was. One of the men stuck his gun against Cal’s head.” I swallowed hard, remembering the look in Cal’s eyes when he felt the barrel.

Sheriff Sterling asked, “Did he say anything?”

I shook my head. “No. He just raised his finger to his lips.” I demonstrated. “Then he left us alone.”

“But he came back to you. Touched you.”

Renewed indignation seared my cheeks. “Yes,” I whispered. “He put his gun to my head.” I’d never forgive Tonio for that little bit of theatrics.

Sterling leaned forward, his forearms on the table. “Mr. Crosby, the elderly gentleman, said the gunman crouched down beside you. What did he do?”

Took my gun and copped a feel. But the first part wasn’t in any statement and never would be. My pulse pistol wasn’t exactly legal. Between its scatter coat to deflect security detection and not being registered, merely possessing it was an automatic five years in the CCM.

“He ran his hand along my back and—” I let my voice break appropriately, “—and m-my backside.”

Phantom fingers sent tingles up my spine. Damn Tonio for having that effect on me after three years!

The sheriff’s jaw clenched and cold fire glinted in his eyes. “Slag mucker,” he muttered. Apparently, taking advantage of a woman while holding a gun on her was one of his pet peeves. “Did he say anything?”

“Just that he was s-sorry they didn’t have more time.” I let my gaze drop again. Total lie, but it made Tonio look that much worse to Sterling, which made me feel somewhat better.

“Anything else?” he asked. I shook my head, too “distraught” to look him in the eye. “Do you think you could recognize him? His voice?”

Sure I could, Sheriff, because he’s my ex-husband. I haven’t seen or heard from him in three years, but I clearly recall his voice, his touch.

And when I help you nab him, Tonio will be happy to tell you all about how he knew me. How we’d hit banks, mercantiles and jewelry stores from Weaver to Hawkins’ Rock before landing here on Nevarro.

I shook my head again, hard enough to rattle thoughts of vengeance out and some sense back in. “No, I don’t think so.”

Sterling’s eyes locked on mine again. “I know you’re scared, Olivia.”

Uh-oh. Lawmen used your given name to make you feel like they were your friend. Had I been nothing more than a victim of groping and robbery, I would have felt safe and secure knowing Sheriff Nathan Sterling was my pal. But with a friend like him, I’d get a quick ride to the CCM myself if I wasn’t careful.

“These men will keep on with their thieving,” he continued. “They’ll keep terrorizing old people and assaulting young women like yourself.”

Sympathy with a side of guilt. He was good.

Hands clenched, I dug a fingernail into my palm and let tears flow. “I know he’d have hurt me if he could, but I don’t think I’ll be of any help, Sheriff.” I hung my head. A soft sob escape my throat and I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Sterling laid one of his red, chapped hands over mine. I wondered if it was real or another replacement part. “It’s all right. Thanks for your help.” He stood up , the scrape of the chair covering my sniffles. “I’ll get in touch with you in Pembroke if I have any more questions. Will you be heading back there tonight?”

I looked up at him and wiped away my crocodile tears. “Yes. It’s a long ride, but Cal and I decided we just want to go home.” I stood, offering a wan smile. “Thank you, Sheriff. I hope you catch those men.”

I did and I didn’t, but I had to mouth the appropriate words.

Sterling nodded then held the door open for me. Cal waited on a bench in the hall. The older couple had been interviewed before us and was nowhere to be seen. My partner stood but didn’t approach.

“Just out of curiosity,” I said turning back to the sheriff, “how much did the robbers get?”

He gave me a hard look for about a second before his features softened. “Don’t know. They didn’t take the cash sitting right there. They took the contents of some safe deposit boxes.”

That explained the need for both the manager and the teller.

It took every gram of willpower for me to merely nod and walk away. The bastards messed up our hit and didn’t take the cash? Worse, there must have been something more valuable in those safe deposit boxes. Something Cal and I had no idea about. Now I felt inept as well as pathetic.

I was going to kill Tonio if I saw him again.
**********

Rulebreaker
is available at Carina Press, Amazon, B&N, and other fine ebook retailers : )

**********
Legal stuff:
The bear image was originally posted to Flickr by HBarrison at http://flickr.com/photos/10299779@N03/2874265346 . Thanks for letting me share!

Rulebreaker text and cover is copyrighted by me ahd Harlequin Enterprises, respectively. Please DON'T share without permission.

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Friday, August 19, 2011

School Daze Countdown

It's that time of year again. In a few short days, the kidlets will be heading back to school. DD#1 starts the ninth grade. Yes, a high school freshman is in my house. DD#2 is in sixth grade, still at the elementary school. Next year they'll both be at the Jr/Sr High School.

I had been looking forward to at least a couple of weeks of alone time before the substitution calls started coming in, but alas. Before July was over I had a request from one of the elementary school office ladies asking if I'd sub for her the first three days. She was headed out of state to help her daughter settle in at college. Sure, three days. No problemo. I had a couple of blog tour posts to keep tabs on for those days, but that was doable.

Then a secretary at the Jr/Sr HS caught up with me. Could I sub for a one-on-one aide in early September so *that* staff member could take her daughter to college. Deja vu all over again. Sure, says I, scanning my calendar and seeing what I needed to juggle.

Today the phone rang and the caller ID read the elementary school. I figured it was the other office lady reminding me to come in next Wednesday. Yes, that, but also, did I realize I was supposed to show up the Monday and Tuesday before school started?

Um...no.

Those dates are now marked on my work calendar, along with several others she asked if I could take. The sub list is scant this year. My September is essentially booked, work-wise, and school hasn't even started.

Ah well. A busy work schedule keeps my bank account (and therefore my husband) happy. It keeps me from raiding the fridge while I'm supposed to be taking advantage of the time and writing the WiP. And limiting my time actually helps me focus on writing. So, when I get those evening or weekend hours to myself I can make the most of them. In theory.

How's your Fall shaping up?

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Elsewhere: Contact Infinite Futures

Over at the Carina Press SF/SFR blog Contact: Infinite Futures today talking about moral dilemmas and the brain. It's not nearly as boring as it sounds, I promise : )

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Family Vacation By the Numbers

My husband decided we needed to take a family vacation. Not one that focused on visiting one set of relatives or another, but a REAL just-the-four-of-us vacation. Of course we all jumped on the idea like fleas on a dog. Originally, we decided to go to Southern California for a week then drive to Arizona and New Mexico where Husband has a few relatives he hadn't seen in forever. No, we weren't going there *just* to visit them. We had plans to see the Grand Canyon and other wonders of the Southwest.

Then we realized we'd be four Alaskans traveling through the desert. In June. Yeah, not a good idea. The wildfires kicked up about then and we put the kibosh on that direction.

Option Number Two: Stay in SoCal for a while then travel up the coast to Monterey.

Ahhhh. Much better. And cooler. So that's what we did. Oh, and we did take a side trip to visit his family in eastern Washington for five days. When you live in Alaska, you look at the idea of "while you're in the area" a little differently :)
Rather than give you a long travelogue of our adventure, here's a down and dirty look at the trip.

Days Gone: 21
Air Miles Traveled: 4,000+
Airplanes Traveled in: 6
Rental Car Miles: 1,300
Foot Miles: Too many to count
Blisters: 4
Attractions/Museums/Parks: 15
(including: SeaWorld, San Diego Zoo, San Diego Zoo Safari, gobs of museums at Balboa Park--loved that place!--Universal Studios, Disneyland, and the Monterey Bay Aquarium)
(now you understand the Foot Miles and Blisters :P )
Hotels: 7
Pools Used By Kids: 1 (I still don't understand how that happened)
Beaches: 1 (ditto)
Tubes of Sunscreen: 1
Pairs of Sandals Broken: 1
Lost Sunglasses: 1
Souvenir Hats Purchased: 3
Souvenir Hats Lost: 1
Souvenir T-Shirts Purchased: 14
Friends Visited: 5
Agents Met: 1
Happy Tourists: 4

We returned relaxed and tanned (except for DD#2 who is so very fair-skinned) but happy to see home again.

Not only did this vacation give us the opportunity to get out of our small town, but I think it brought us together as a family. There were never any moments where I wanted to leave my kids or husband along Highway 1, and I hope they were good with keeping me in the car as well. We enjoyed ourselves and each other immensely. Which is the point of a family vacation, isn't it?

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Monday, July 04, 2011

Time to Go Home

We've been on vacation since June 13 so it's about that time, folks. Time to go home. It's been amazing, seeing all kinds of things, enjoying each other's company (no really!) and spending the last week hanging out with family in a super relaxed sitution.

But tomorrow we head back, and while we've had fun, we'll also be happy to see our own home, our own beds and our critters. Plus, there is work to be done, blog tours to prep (Rulebreaker comes out Aug. 8 and I've got things to do!) and the rest of the summer to survive.

I'll post some stats and some pics from our SoCal tour in the next few days.

See you back in the Semi-Frozen North!

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Happy Summer!

Happy first day of summer, folks! We're celebrating the turn of the season (and DD #2's upcoming b-day) in sunny California. Yep, an actual family vacation full of tourist attractions, cranky kids, and tired adults. Kidding (mostly). It's been a blast so far, and we have another couple of weeks to go before heading back to Alaska. A full report will be issued then.

In the meantime, I hope your summer has started off well! Catch you later, dudes! (Well, I told you we're in California :)

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Friday, June 10, 2011

Social Media for the Unsocial

Well, I've finally taken the plunge and joined Twitter. Why? It's. The. Thing. To. Do.

Not that I'm a follower of the latest trends (see sad closet as proof), but I do understand the basics of networking and such.

Living in a somewhat remote location, I love things like Twitter and Facebook that allow me to keep in contact with friends, family and associates in 420 characters or fewer. For on the go folks, or those of us who are often at a loss for how to fill in dead air space, these options are appreciated. Sure, I like the occasional round of small talk, but if I can tell you what I'm up to or make a witty retort then go on to the next shiny topic, I'm happy with that too.

So what do you do to keep in touch? Are you a Twitterer? FBer? Other? Does it work for you? Love it? Hate it? Wish we were back to actual face-to-face conversations that required fully spelled out words? Tell me.

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Monday, March 14, 2011

Have You Seen My Pants?

That's a question I haven't asked since, oh, college. (Hey. Don't judge.)

I've been wandering around the house for a week now, asking if any of my kids have seen a favorite pair of black pants. They haven't. Nor did Husband take them with him when he packed for his research cruise. I've been in contact with him; he denies having them, though he hasn't gone out of his way to search his luggage either. The pants are similar in fabric, if not size, to one of his pairs of trousers, but not the sort of garment one takes when one is prepping to live on a manly boat with (mostly) other manly men. Jeans, baby, that's what they wear. The more stained with fish guts the better. Yeah, doing *his* laundry upon return will be a great joy.

Anyway, back to my problem of not finding my pants. Last I saw them, they were hanging in the laundry area before I headed out on a short trip last weekend. I made sure they were clean so I'd have them for work on Monday morning, in case I didn't have the energy to do laundry when I returned. (As it turns out, I couldn't do laundry Sunday even if I wanted to--our pipes had frozen. Oh, the joys of living in the Frozen North.) But my pants were not where I thought I'd left them. Nor were they hanging in my closet or in the dirty clothes pile. Or in the kids' rooms.

So where did they go?

I offered the kids cold, hard cash if they found the pants while cleaning their rooms. No such luck. Though they asked for some sort of percentage for cleaning their rooms. No such luck there, either. Sorry, kids.

Driving in to work last week, me fuming about the pants, we passed a dog trotting along the road. The dog was mostly black with white socks.

DD#1: "That dog looks like he's wearing pants."

DD#2: "Maybe they're mom's."

Funny, kid, real funny.

Later, at home....

Me (still ranting): "It's not like they got up and walked away!"

DD#1: "Well, they *do* have legs."

Har-dee-har-har. I have birthed comedians.

Husband suggested I just break down and buy a new pair. I was resistant, but this morning I put in an order for new pants, along with some shorts, a skort, and some t-shirts for our summer vacation in June. I know that as soon as I tear off the tags and wear the new pair, I will find the old ones.

Then I'll have two pairs to lose.

ETA: Original pants were found in youngest daughter's drawer. How they got there, who knows. But I know that dog doesn't have them.

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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Writing: It's in the Genes

(Nearly late January??? How did that happen? I guess I can still say Happy New Year. I have until the end of the month, don't I? Okay. Good. Happy New Year!)

Unlike some children, both my kids love to write. School assignments that ask for a paragraph get a page or two. A simple question turns into a thesis.

My youngest, who will be 11 this year, has been writing and illustrating stories since kindergarten. We have stacks and stacks of books she made at school. Pages and pages of drawings of characters that live in her head. There are documents on two home computers, a 3-ring binder, and at least two spiral notebooks filled with her squished-together printing. She loves to talk about her stories, loves to brainstorm with me or her sister. There are two writing contests she's preparing to enter in the next couple of months.

My oldest, soon to be 14 (yikes!), caught the writing bug a little later in her young life. Only within the last year or so has she seriously sat down to put a story on the page that wasn't a school assignment. She even attempted the young writers' version of NaNoMo and asked her Language Arts teacher if it could be part of their classwork/extra credit. The teacher was happy my daughter was writing, but the current curriculum was already full. Creative writing on that scale would have to wait. That didn't stop my daughter. She stuck with it, wrote every day, and I believe completed the 20K word requirement. She is also working on at least two Sci Fi stories and does a little fan fiction here and there. For her research paper in L.A., she is writing about what it takes to get published.

Some of our best times together are when we're discussing one of their stories or something about the craft. It's amazing to see where their imaginations go. (Strange places indeed, but not a shock there.) I love it when we're talking about plot or characterization or pacing or what have you and I see in their eyes the sudden dawning of comprehension. That light bulb moment where it all seems to make sense. They get it. They apply what they've learned to their personal writings as well as assignments.

My kids are not athletic. They aren't social butterflies. For the most part, they aren't "joiners" of activities. They are more introverted and tend to observe rather than participate. In other words, they have the makings of writers. No, not the makings. They ARE writers.

Could a writer mom be more happy? I think not.

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

An Alaska Midlife Crisis

Scene: Me sitting at dining room table, cooling down after a brutal *snort* workout on Wii Fit. Phone rings. Check caller ID: Husband at work.

Me: Hi, what's up?

Husband: Well--

Me: Uh oh.

Husband: Have I got a deal for you.

Me: Uh oh.

Husband: It's a way you can keep me in a manner in which I'd like to get used to.

Me: You've found a way to sell thousands of copies of my book?

Husband: No. I want to buy a bobcat with Linee and Jason.

Me: Not the predatory mammal kind, I assume.

Husband: No, the front end loader kind. We can use it for snow removal, and to fix the gully in the driveway, and to recontour the parking area so it doesn't flood every spring, and--

Me: How much?

Husband: Only two, maybe three grand.

Me: (choking on water) Only?

Husband: If it's still available.

Me: I see.

Husband: Can you bring me the checkbook?

Me: (long suffering sigh) Sure. I'll be there in half an hour.

In Alaska, particularly here in the boonies, there is little call for zippy red sports cars, and having an affair would soon become public knowledge in a place where everyone knows everyone else's business. So as far as a midlife crisis goes, this one at least has a practical side.

Any bets on what the next request might be?

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Monday, December 13, 2010

What Am I Thinking?

My husband and I have been together too long.

We'll be celebrating our 19th anniversary this February. (Actually, our 4 3/4th anniversary. Work it out ; ) The number of years isn't the issue. It's how we rarely have to say a word yet still know what's going on in each other's heads. We can sit in a room watching TV, or listening to the kids' conversations, and some phrase or topic will come up. We just have to look at each other and we'll both smile knowingly. We can spend hours in a room or in a car together and exchange no more than a dozen words, but not feel awkward or like we need to fill the silence.

But the other day took the proverbial cake.

Hubby was in Anchorage for several days. He had a meeting or two to attend and did some Christmas shopping as well. I'd given him a list of the few items I wanted for the girls and knew he'd add to it as well as pick up stocking stuffers. While he was away, he called to confirm that I hadn't thought up anything to add. Nope, I'm good, I said. See you in a couple of days.

The day before he came home, I was watching our eldest daughter play World of Warcraft and thought back to my high school and college days as a Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game geek. We've told the girls about these old school pencil, paper and dice games, and they were intrigued. In a time when video stimulus is the norm, the actual use of imagination is rare. Both our girls are chock full of imagination, and I thought maybe it would be fun to introduce them to the world of Dungeons and Dragons some day. Something came up, as it usually does, and my mind went on to other things.

Then Hubby returned from the Big City the following day. Guess what he had bought the day before? Yep! A D&D starter set. I was floored. We had not said two words about the game in months and months while in the same room, yet here he was holding up a familiar box and smiling. I sputtered and told him that I had just been thinking about it. He laughed, but I think he was a little freaked out too.

There are great advantages to having a loved one know you so well you don't have to explain yourself or try to suss out what, exactly they are thinking. On the other hand, I wonder what I think he *doesn't* know that he really does....

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Other Woman

Her name is Peggy, and I'm damn tired of her getting all kinds of perks while I have to do the drudge work around the house. She goes to movies and restaurants with Hubby. She is the goody-two-shoes who supports public television and radio. She even sent papers off to the title company when we refinanced our house. That Peggy! If I ever meet her, I'm gonna punch her in the nose. But I never will. In fact, no one will, not even Hubby.

Let me explain. Peggy is a mistype on some paperwork as well as a figment of my husbands imagination (more on that in a minute). It all started when Hubby was giving to the local public radio station. He'd put both our names on the form, but for some reason the person who entered the info renamed me Peggy. And so the Other Woman was born.

We kept getting donation reminders in her name. Even a phone call or two. And without knowledge of that clerical error, an old office manager I had, whom I didn't like, tried to get my attention by calling out Peggy (he knew my real name but was befuddled that day). I ignored him even though I knew EXACTLY who he wanted. Why yes, I can be a b****.

But Peggy isn't limited to paperwork and befuddled coworkers. She has been around for a while so it shouldn't be a surprise when she horns in on my life. Or rather, the life I wish I had.

(Trailer for film now out on DVD comes on television)

Hubby: Oh, that was a really good movie. Remember the part--

Me: I've never seen it.

Hubby: Sure you have. We went after eating at that new restaurant in Anchorage.

Me: (giving him cocked eyebrow of distain)

Hubby: Oh, yeah. That must have been Peggy.

Me: I hate her.

So, Peggy, I hope you're enjoying yourself. But do us both a favor. Load the dishwasher or vacuum once in a while. I can't blame the lack of clean forks on you forever.

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Saturday, November 06, 2010

Holly


Recently, I wrote about our dog, Holly, her losing a leg to cancer, and her amazing ability to bounce back and get on with life as if nothing was amiss. She was her happy self, smiling, I swear, as she bound across the yard or played mama to a friend’s high-energy pup. Unfortunately, things took a bad turn, as these things tend to do.

Less than a week ago, Holly began having trouble standing. She could do it, but you could see there was something going on. Then she had trouble with the three stairs leading up to our house. Within days, she couldn’t walk, couldn’t even stand on her own.

My husband had to leave on a research cruise--out of town and out of reliable communication range. I was on my own. We’d discussed the inevitable, but our vet was in his other location, and there was no one else in town to turn to when the time came. I prayed Holly could hold on until Hubby got back.

Then it got to the point where I had to lift Holly to bring her outside and stand there holding her up, encouraging her to relieve herself. Her brown eyes asked why I was encroaching on her “private business” yet she seemed grateful for my touch and support. I’d haul her back inside, lay her down on her bedding and we’d collapse, both of us exhausted and frustrated and unhappy. So unhappy. She deserved more than relying on me to get her outside. She deserved to be freed from the pain that made her shake and whimper, even when lying still.

I called my husband yesterday morning, Friday, leaving a message that Holly was in very bad shape, that the vet wasn’t available, that no one was, that I was at a loss for what to do. I had kids and other animals to tend. How was I supposed to give our furry friend a peaceful end to her pain?

I headed into work on the verge of tears, holding it together for my kids. They saw the difficulty Holly was having, and the stress of taking care of her was taking its toll on me as I got short with them. I apologized frequently for my behavior, but I’m not sure it helped.

Friday afternoon, I was done with work and about to go home when one of the office ladies handed me a phone message. One of Hubby’s coworkers had called regarding the dog. I realized Hubby must have called or emailed her and explained the situation, asked for help when I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

At home, I returned the call and spoke to Nancy. Her take-charge attitude and soft voice assured me that there were people to help. That she and her husband could take Holly to Valdez if I wanted. That if I went, Penny and Linee would stay with the girls so they wouldn’t have to go with me or be alone for the day. The ferry schedule was tight, however, arriving at Valdez at 11:45 then returning to Cordova at 1:15. Not a lot of time, but enough if weather didn’t hamper the voyage.

Knowing it was what I had to do, I called the vet in Valdez and explained the situation. He wasn’t normally open on Saturdays, but would come in under the circumstances. I called the ferry terminal here. They assured me that I would have time to run into town at Valdez, take care of Holly, then make it back onto the ferry for the return trip. The crew would be made aware of my situation and I wouldn’t miss the boat.

It was settled. I looked into Holly’s brown eyes and cried. In my head, I knew this was the best thing for her. In my heart, I knew it was unfair to put her through so much but it hurt, oh it hurt, to think about losing her. When the kids came home from school, we sat on the floor near Holly and I told them what we had to do. We cried. We told stories about getting her and her “Goomba sister” Bailey when the girls were little. How Holly used to jump the five foot fence that surrounded our house in Oregon. How Bailey, much skinnier then, used to follow and we’d chase the dogs through the neighborhood. We laughed and remembered. And we knew we’d never, ever forget.

Last night, we all slept on the living room floor beside Holly. I gave her an extra dose of pain meds to help her rest, knowing the side effects were moot. This morning, Penny came over to help load Holly into the car and stay with the girls for a little while until Linee and her son could keep them company. We all cried again and the girls said their good-byes.

I checked in at the ferry terminal and was once again assured the captain and crew knew what was happening. Monica, the clerk, handed me a little dog treat. “I know how tough this is.” She’s lived her for a while. I’m sure she knew exactly what I was going through, as did all of the wonderful folks who jumped in to help us.

The ferry ride was uneventful. Hubby called to make sure the boat had sailed because the weather had been iffy. He would be out of range again until Sunday and we'd talk again then.

At the Valdez terminal, I was met by a woman named Donna who has worked with Nancy and my husband. She got in my car and showed me how to get to the vet’s office. Valdez isn’t a large town, but it was great to have someone there to lean on.

The vet, Kelly, pulled up just as we did. He carried Holly inside and gently laid her on the floor. We chatted a bit then I filled out some required paperwork. He went into the back and returned with a syringe of yellow liquid. The sedative would relax Holly prior to administration of the drug that would actually stop her heart. I could stay until the very end or leave after the sedative took effect, whatever I felt more comfortable with. I wasn’t sure, and time was an unfortunate factor. He assured me she would feel nothing once the sedative kicked in.

He gave her the shot and Holly laid her head down as I stroked her soft ears. Her eyes were wide open and she looked around at the strange surroundings. I spoke to her, cried some more, told the vet and Donna about some of her antics. After ten minutes, she was still more interested in the clinic than closing her eyes. Not reluctant, just curious about where she was and these two new people—her new friends, because everyone was Holly’s friend. The vet gave her a second shot. Within minutes, her eyes closed and her breathing became regular. No longer quivering or whimpering with pain, no longer looking at me with confusion and frustration in her soft brown eyes. I cried on her big rottie head and whispered my good-byes. “Good puppy.”

I couldn’t bring myself to watch Kelly give her that final injection, the one that would stop Holly’s heart. I wanted to remember her in a peaceful sleep, perhaps dreaming of chasing squirrels or licking the girls’ faces.

Donna, also crying, walked outside with me and we returned to the ferry terminal. She drove and waited with me until it was time to load. Here was a woman I’d never met before, who knew my husband just a little, but was willing to go through almost as much emotional stress because of the commonality of our love for our animals. We said good-bye and I told Donna she and her husband had to visit us under more cheerful circumstances. I hope she takes me up on it.

I’m so grateful to all the people who got us through this difficult time, friends old and new, people I’d never met, who made Holly’s passing a little easier.

Returning home with Holly’s collar on the seat beside me, I was exhausted. Only one dog greeted me when I walked in the door. Bailey seemed confused, and looked past me. Where was her sister? I gave her a hug and cried some more.

It’ll be strange not to wake up to Holly’s smiling face or pat her big head when I come home. It’ll seem odd to call only one dog in. I’m sure I’ll call Bailey the wrong name now and again and feel the pang of loss. My girls or I will tear up, and we’ll all hug and sob then remember some funny thing about Holly and feel a little better.

Not much compares to the love and memories generated by our relationships with animals, and despite the pain of losing them we seem compelled to have them in our lives. We gave Holly the best life we could and a peaceful passing. I know she’s somewhere in doggie heaven, smiling, four legs flying as she chases a forest full of squirrels.

Good puppy.

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