Dear Russian Women...

I'm sorry about ignoring your emails, but I can assure you we did not meet either in your country, online, or anywhere else. Surely you have me mistaken for someone else.

Be that as it may, your offer to become my wife is appreciated. I've discussed it with my husband and he thinks it's a grand idea to have a 23 year-old blonde as a second wife. I couldn't agree more. There are plenty of chores left undone around here, so another pair of hands would be appreciated. While you're doing the things I never seem to have time for, I can continue to do the things I want to do. And our husband, fab guy that he is, won't have to worry about the house being clean, dinner being cooked on time, or getting bored with the same woman he's been with for nearly 18 years. The kids will have someone sort of near their own age to hang with, because surely you are way cooler than their 40+ year-old parents.

So yes, please come over and be our wife. The check for expenses is in the mail. It may not be as much as you expected as we may have to check out the offer for E.D. pills. With two wives Hubby will be a busy man.

Can't wait to meet you,
Me